lucy-vanpelt:

angels-and-angles:

Wow, accidentally deleted my original post. Reblogging so I can keep it in my archives.

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As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”

What a load of ignorant bullshit that just looks like the ridiculous rant of someone who got screwed over and now thinks it’s fair to clump a lot of guys together. Really mature.

Is this supposed to be a feminist and empowering rant? Sad. Also, what the fuck does “delve into the sociological aspects” mean? It’s obvious that whoever wrote this has no idea what sociology even means and it’s just using the expression as pedantic bullshit to legitimize the ton of shit she was going to spew right after that.

I found it amusing how, according to the person who wrote this, “friendzone” works both ways, but it’s, at the same time, a instrument of control for man to shame and humiliate women. So what about the girls who do this, who whine about how the guys they like are always having their heart broken by shallow bitches and never go for them, when they’re always there supporting them? According to this rant, they’re about as manipulative and evil (and the whole satanic portrait here, like the concept of “friendzone” is part of some kind of master plan to control women is laughable) as the guys who do it.

Or, oh, well, wait. Did it ever occur to you that maybe there are guys who don’t really like sticking their tongues in the mouths or sleeping with girls who they barely know? Which, apparently, would make them “honest” guys, according to this, because at least they were “honest about their intentions”. Never mind the fact that some guys, and girls too, think it’s important to have some sort of relationship, to know that they actually LIKE being in the company of the girl before pursuing anything with her or to just actually KNOW who she is and if they get along well. Oh, no, they’re manipulative sad misogynists, who just want to dominate you poor girls that are in the awful position of having to reject them. Something else that apparently didn’t occur to you: not everybody can handle rejection very well AND THERE’S NO REASON WHY THEY SHOULD. How dare some guy reject the “oh, no, I like you as a friends, can we just ignore everything you said to me and your feelings as well because that suits me better?” speech! OUTRAGEOUS.

Grow the fuck up.

PS: See how I don’t need any supposedly “scientific” basis to ridicule this argument? It’s not because I’m smart, it’s just because this was really stupid.